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Saturday 25.01.2020 | Name days: Sigurds, Zigurds

Mayor advantages: Lembergs vs. cat

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A cat has been elected as the Mayor of Talkitna, USA for the fifteenth time. This furry politician named Stubbs was first elected as the Mayor of Talkitna, with a population of 900 people, in 1997, when city residents thought that neither one of the offered candidates was fit for this post. And so they decided to appoint Stubbs for this post, notes Ventspils City Council opposition deputy Vladislavs Šafranskis in an article published by Pietiek portal.

With reference to NY Daily News, «Mayor Stubbs» was elected for this post in July 2012 for the fifteenth time.

Finally, a simple question is asked: Ventspilians, don’t you think that Mayor Stubbs has a number of advantages?

For example:

1. He doesn’t eat much (and this provides less trouble).

2. He is calm and steady; he doesn’t shout at his fellow City Council colleagues and does not use his authority to put pressure on them.

3. He uses his feet to get around; doesn’t ask for expensive representative vehicles for himself; modest in his everyday life.

4. He doesn’t steal at all, but, possibly, catches mice instead.

5. He doesn’t have to lobby his interests.

6. He is handsome as he is; he doesn’t need expensive attire to attract attention.

7. He doesn’t lie at all, and replies similarly to any topic – with a short and laconic answer.

Because of this reason, he can be cited easily. And it is hard to sue him for slander – i.e., he has much more time to fulfil his duties.

8. During springtime he can cheer his voters with open love, without fearing scandals and the yellow press. Voters can see and discuss all of his lovers and fairly evaluate his manly tastes.

9. He is sharp – think about it – 15 elections and not a single loss!

10. He is deaf to different, and always wrong, opinions. He is always right! Actually no, we have that already.

11. His duties during a City Council meeting can be fulfilled by one of his deputies… although City Council does that as well!!!

«Alright, let’s be realistic about this! Our current «mayor», with all due respect, will never get through 15 terms. Mayor Stubbs surpasses him in every aforementioned point! Now is the time to start searching for a replacement. As you may have understood already, the appearance of Stubbs caused a series of rises in tourism. Seeing as though tourism (not transport, logistics, production or other industries) in our fair city is quietly called the priority industry and the main development course, it seems that the Lord himself wants us to go further and make our city more attractive to tourists,»- the deputy says.

He continues: «Now, I know a donkey. His name is Penču. Even though he does not resemble Stubbs on the outside, he does have his own advantages:

1. He eats a lot, but cheap.

2. He is prepared to support the Cow parade and will not deny his attention to any of the contestants.

3. He is a passionate supporter of agriculture: therefore, is a duty for the Greens’ and Farmers’ Union to support him!

4. He is young communicable, photogenic, calm, healthy and handsome.

5. He can always loudly and convincingly express his opinion.

6. He is kind and, in moments of exceptionally good mood, will allow anyone to ride on his back!

7. And, like Mayor Stubbs, he is not all that demanding and will cost the city’s treasury a lot less than the current government.»

«I fully support our City Council’s course in the development of tourism and in this regard I’m offering a candidate that would turn our city into a world tourism centre without damaging our established culture!»- Šafranskis says.

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